Drag Me to Hell (2009)…Ahem, Marriage

The horror of we, no man putting asunder. Am gypsy with fingernails of unearthed hyena bone and vulture. You are of cream and blond, mist and air–maiden skin. Am paining …

Away We Go (2009)

I am sitting in my office watching rain drops draw lines on my window–like wrinkles on lips and cedar between grain. The music of Alexi Murdoch is a car in …

The Hurt Locker Review

The Hurt Locker brought me some of the reality that revealed how scared I really would be if I found myself in a dessert with a gun and a high percentage rate of dying.

Halloween II (2009):The Self-Esteem Enhancer

How Rob Zombie’s sequel to his remake of the original improved my self-esteem (good god): Halloween II is the 10th film in the series of Halloween films. The 8th film …

Paranormal Activity (2009): How to Keep the Peace with Your Own Personal Demon. . .

Don’t live with your douche bag boyfriend–that’ll fix many a problem. Don’t let your douche bag boyfriend google the demon–it’s just lousy behavior. Don’t overreact. If your demon sets a small fire …

The Lovely Bones (2009)

The Lovely Bones is heaven unfettered on the petal of murder. It is blue eyes cleared and made liquid–a sea that waves to love and crashes on rocks hardened by …

Julie and Julia (2009): A Look at Space and Time and Hair

Julie and Julia is an in-depth look at the mysteries of time zone conversions. Turns out that when its is 2002 in New York, it is 1950 in Paris. In …

The Canyon (2009): How to Use Someone Else’s Hard work as a Platform For Your Sarcasm. . .

Arizona is the home of a canyon that, upon observation, silences the mind long enough to allow truth to seep in like skin and take over. It hangs the music …

World’s Greatest Dad (2009): A Musical Composition

Lance Clayton’s (Robin Williams) love for Bruce Hornsby in World’s Greatest Dad has inspired me to compose a lyrical medley for your film synopses reading pleasures . . .and “that’s …

A Dinner Party with Willard and Willard: Two Guys Who Would Never Even Have a Dinner Party

The year is a year that incorporates both of the years 1971 and 2003. . . Ahem, so the year is blah, blah, blah, and two weirdos are having a …